Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)

Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson examine self-justification, the habit that makes it so hard for people to admit a mistake and truly mean it. When a mistake, an outdated attitude or unkind treatment of others clashes with someone's sense of being smart and decent, the resulting cognitive dissonance is eased by stories that shift responsibility elsewhere. Those stories protect self-image but often keep people on a course that is foolish or wrong. Drawing on years of research, the authors show how the process works and the damage it causes, and how it can be overcome. An updated edition adds new examples and a closing discussion of living with dissonance and learning from it.

Oaktree co-chairman Howard Marks read it at his son Andrew's suggestion and called it a fascinating study of self-justification. Peter Attia's entry in Tools of Titans presents it as a way to recalibrate and avoid being too sure of himself, and Ramit Sethi includes it among 50 books he recommends.